As we reach the middle of the winter season and head into a new calendar year, we’re adding a small mindset piece to our team huddles. Each practice we’ll take a minute or two to talk through a life lesson inspired by The Four Agreements, a book that has had a big impact on me. These ideas line up perfectly with what it takes to compete at a high level.

Here are the twelve lessons we’ll be using the rest of the season:

Week 1: Control The Controllables

• The Lesson: We cannot control referees, opponents, bad bounces, or a blown play by a teammate. We can control our effort, our attitude, our communication, and how quickly we recover from mistakes.
• Soccer Focus: When a referee makes a tough call, we focus on running back to defense immediately, not complaining to the ref. At that moment, think of how you will still manage to win despite the rough start.

Week 2: Be Impeccable With Your Word

• The Lesson: Words stick. We don’t label teammates “slow” or “bad.” We build each other up. It starts with the Parents and coaches. If you tell a kid they are slow, they are going to believe you. By setting the right example we can hope the players will treat their teammates with the same courtesy.
• Soccer Focus: “If you tell a teammate ‘good effort,’ that builds their confidence. Use your words to make our team stronger. Soccer is so much more fun when you are playing on a strong team. We have the power to make the players around us play at a higher level by encouraging them.

Week 3: Do Not Take Things Personally

• The Lesson: A correction from a coach or parent, a frustrated teammate, or not getting a pass usually isn’t personal.
• Soccer Focus: If a teammate misses your pass, they aren’t trying to ignore you. They just made a mistake. Focus on getting open for the next ball. Everyone has been there where it’s they feel like they gave up the winning goal or missed an easy shot. Teammates may say things in the heat of the moment. It’s not a personal attack, its just a response to frustration that is a natural part of the game. When YOU are the one who is under scrutiny, do not take it personal.
  

Week 4: Do Not Make Assumptions

• The Lesson: This shows up in a lot of ways. Don’t assume you know what a teammate intended, or assume the other team is too tough just because they look bigger. Never assume you will lose because the other team scores first or starts to comeback.
• Soccer Focus: “Instead of assuming your teammate sees your run, call for the ball or communicate: ‘Man on!’ or ‘Time!’”
• How it helps us compete: When we stop assuming and stay engaged, we make better decisions and stay in games longer.

Week 5: Always Do Your Best

• The Lesson: Your best changes from day to day. The goal is to bring whatever your best looks like that specific day. There are days that you may not feel well or might be dealing with distractions. It’s okay to have a bad game, as long as you are trying your best. One player not giving 100% impacts the entire team.

Week 6: Reset Quickly

• The Lesson: Mistakes happen constantly in soccer. The important part is how quickly we regroup and get back to work. The game is most exciting when the lead goes back and forth. Get comfortable with coming back from a mistake.

Week 7: Courage Over Comfort

• The Lesson: Trying new moves, using skill, receiving the ball under pressure, or taking risks requires courage. We reward bravery, not perfection.
• Soccer Focus: “It takes courage to step in front of a hard pass to win the ball, or to try a move you haven’t mastered in a game. I want you to be brave and try.”

Week 8: Your Effort Reveals Your Character

• The Lesson: How the boys work when tired or challenged says a lot about their growth.
• Soccer Focus: “It’s the 4th quarter and we’re tied. Are you tracking back on defense when your legs hurt? That extra effort often decides close matches.”

Week 9: Respect Is Non-Negotiable

• The Lesson: Respect for referees, opponents, teammates, parents, coaches and the game itself.
• Soccer Focus: Shaking hands after the game, listening when the ref speaks, and never badmouthing the other team. Composure leads to better decisions and fewer distractions.

Week 10: Body Language Sets The Tone

• The Lesson: Never let the opponent that you are feeling frustrated. The leading goal scorers take the most shots and in many cases will also have the most missed shots. Always keep your head up and focus on the next play. Force yourself to smile even when you make a mistake.
• Soccer Focus: When we miss a goal, we don’t hang our heads. We sprint back with confidence. Strong body language keeps the team confident and signals strength to opponents.
• How it helps us compete: Strong body language sends signals to opponents. What message are we sending?

Week 11: Be a Great Teammate

• The Lesson: Support each other. Move for each other. Get open to help relieve your teammate from the defender. Celebrate each other when someone scores. If you score and someone makes a pass to you, make sure to tell them great pass.
• Soccer Focus: “We move into open space for our teammates so they have options. That’s supporting them on the field. Teams with chemistry always outperform teams with better individual talent.”
• How it helps us compete: Teams with chemistry always outperform teams with better individual talent.

Week 12: Choose a Better Response

• The Lesson: Pressure, frustration, and surprises always come with competitive games. What matters is how we choose to respond.
• Soccer Focus: We’re down a goal with five minutes left. Do we panic, or do we respond with composure and execute our game plan? Get excited about how good it feels to come back at the last minute and win the game. Even if we are down by several goals, be the player that is still winning the ball. Be the player that is still encouraging others.